Funjabi Jokes - Punjabi

Santa class me haans raha tha, Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum? Santa : Tum kaun ho? Ladka : Mein monitor hu Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!! Santa (Ladki ko chedte hue): Hor soniya ki haal he…?? Ladki (gusse me) boli: Jo teri behn ka hai. Santa (hans kar): Woh to pregnant hai!!! Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai… Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi???? Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya. Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band. Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe, Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe, Jo jate hai unke piche, Wo aate hai caro ke neeche, Jo kehte hai JAANU, Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!! Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai. Santa : Wah g wah kya technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai, aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!! Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha Aa

  1)   Santa and Banta met on a village road. Santa was carrying a large gunny bag over his shoulder. ‘Oye, Santa,’ hailed Banta, ‘what is in the bag?’ ‘Murgiyan – Chickens,’ came the reply. ‘If I guess how many, can I have one?’ asked Banta ‘You can have both of them.’ ‘OK,’ said Banta, ‘five.’ 2)  Banta said to Santa, ‘I have invented a new kind of computer which behaves like a human being.’ ‘In what way?’ asked Santa. ‘Whenever it makes a mistake,’ replied Banta, ‘it blames other computers. 3)  Santa and Banta went fishing. They caught a lot of fish and returned to the shore. Santa: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all these fish. Banta: Yes, I marked X on the side of the boat to mark the spot. Santa: You idiot! How do we know we will get the same boat tomorrow? 4)  Banta sent an SMS to his pregnant wife. Less than a minute later, the report came on his phone and he started dancing. The report said, ‘Delivered’. 5)  How can Santa kill a lion? Santa thinks and thinks hard

  Banta-Tenu aini maar kyon pyi..? Santa- kal baraat vich boli galat pegi c..? Banta : kiddan…? Santa : “baari brsi khatan gaya c khat ke leandi taar, bhngra ta sajda, je nache kuri da yaar! Banta-fir ta maar paini hi c. Santa-mainu ta sirf maar hi payi jehra nachiya c audda parso bhog hai! Santa: Saadi teacher kehndi hai k MAJJ da taza dudh peen naal dimag wadhda hai. Banta: Oye je aho jehi gall hundi ta apna katta ajj IAS lageya Hunda! Santa: Teri wife di maut da bada afsos hai, vaise hoya ki si? Banta: Goli lagi si mathe vich. Santa: Waheguru da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi. Santa: Mujhse panga na le, main sher da puttar haan!! Banta: Yaar Santa, ik gal dass, sher tere ghar aaya see ki aunty jungle gayi see? Santa: Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhul Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Sige. Banta: Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rupaiye, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.

Santa class me haans raha tha, Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum? Santa : Tum kaun ho? Ladka : Mein monitor hu Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!👦   Santa (Ladki ko chedte hue): Hor soniya ki haal he…?? Ladki (gusse me) boli: Jo teri behn ka hai. Santa (hans kar): Woh to pregnant hai!!!         Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai… Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi???? Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi          A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya. Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band. Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado         Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe, Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe, Jo jate hai unke piche, Wo aate hai caro ke neeche, Jo kehte hai JAANU, Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!         Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai. Santa : Wah g wah kya technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai, aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!         Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha

Santa class me hass raha tha, Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum? Santa : Tum kaun ho? Ladka : Mein monitor hu Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!       Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai… Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi???? Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi       A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya. Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band. Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado        Ek khargosh roj lohaar ki dukan pe jata aur kehta : GAAJAR hai? Lohar inkar kar deta. Ek din Lohaar ko gussa aaya aur usne Khargosh ke daant tod diye. fir.. fir kya… Agle din Khargosh aaya aur bola… GAAJAR KA JUICE HAI KYA???     Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua? Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida, ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!     Santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya. Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta